Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
