we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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