I wanna bring you to show and tell
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize