girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
