Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
