You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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