so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
