i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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