My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
this must be what syphilis tastes like
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
