If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
