She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I have post one night stand depression
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