even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
