her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
