Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
