is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
