Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
