yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
