Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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