i was born a porn star she said
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
