remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
