Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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