i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
