now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
thus making me awesome and them whores
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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