Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize