I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
