You can't motorboat a personality
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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