JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
