go do what you do best...puke behind churches
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
