strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
