Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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