do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
