im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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