The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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