hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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