Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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