I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
