Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
These tits shall not be calmed
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
