just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
