No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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