Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
