her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
