id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
