Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
