What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
