Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
