Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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