Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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