i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
