So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
