i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
you will always have a special place in my vag
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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