I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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