I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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