There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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