Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize