Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize