Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
