if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
