Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
