Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
