Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
