you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
