then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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