so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Of course I have a pirate flag
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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